The eyes have it

It’s said that the eyes are the window to the soul. They can certainly say a lot about a person – or to a person. A long look from a complete stranger can haunt one for years. Lovers stare into each other’s eyes over a dinner table, in almost the same way that a young baby stares fixedly into the eyes of its mother. It’s as though they are trying to unlock every secret.

I’m sure many of you have experienced being in the powder room in a hotel or a restaurant, engaged in the simple act of brushing your hair or touching up your lipstick, and another woman approaches the sink and you catch her eye and you can see her thinking, ‘She looks beautiful.’ It’s such a lovely moment. Sometimes I think those flashes of communication with a stranger have more meaning than the compliments offered you by friends. Because they don’t owe you anything. There is none of the complicated give and take that comes with friendship. It’s simply the frank acknowledgement of another human being they like the look of.

I’ve been thinking about how we look at the way someone is dressed. For me it very often starts with the shoes. If I pass someone wearing distinctive shoes in the street, I can’t help looking at the rest of her outfit and finally her face. Sometimes I’m disappointed, sometimes I’m surprised, sometimes I’m thrilled all through. Shoes can tell you a lot about a person. They might be particularly beautiful shoes, or unusual in some way. I also love to see shoes well cared for.

Sometimes the person I’m examining catches my eye. That’s where you have to be careful. It’s fine to pay someone a compliment with your eyes, it’s not so fine to show disapproval. Instinctively I have a smile ready, in case I’m caught out.

I think we are losing the ability to communicate with others with our eyes. We all lead increasingly busy lives, rushing from one thing to another, barely remembering to communicate with the person serving us in a shop, let alone with strangers on the street. And most of us have had experiences when people have been unreasonably upset because we looked at them. People who are ill, depressed or angry will often misinterpret a glance. But they are in a minority. We shouldn’t let them put us off.

I love to see the way children look at people. Most of us will hurry past a busker, but a child will often stop and study him with intense curiosity, or bob clumsily along to his music. And the busker will smile at the child, and double his efforts. It’s a beautiful thing, that moment of acknowledgement.

Let’s not lose the art of communicating with our eyes, especially to compliment. After all, a few glances of acknowledgment and approval every week can’t hurt us. We won’t miss them, and they might make someone’s day. 

The Art of Grace

I have just finished reading a book called The Art of Grace, by Sarah L. Kaufman, critic and senior arts writer of the Washington Post.

Kaufman speaks of two kinds of grace – the grace of movement, or poise, and grace of manner, which we generally know as graciousness. She says that the art of grace has been important to us for a thousand years, being a quality valued by the ancient Greeks. Writing in sixteenth-century Florence, the poet and archbishop Giovanni Della Casa equated grace with fine craftsmanship. In the 1930s it was a habitual practice that enhanced the whole person.

Kaufman talks a lot about the actor Cary Grant being the epitome of grace. Grant was known for his ease of movement (no doubt due to his early training as an acrobat and stage performer). He was also famous for his kindness in putting other less celebrated people at their ease in unfamiliar situations.

Kaufman laments that grace is a quality that is now virtually lost. These days there is much more emphasis on putting ourselves first, on fulfilling our own dreams, rather than being considerate of other people.

The book has made me ponder this mystery of grace, and I’ve been going through all the people I know in my head, trying to decide whether they have grace. It’s true that it’s relatively rare to find both grace of movement and grace of manner in one person. They generally tend to have one or the other.

I think the way we look is of paramount importance. If you’re meeting another person, it’s not very nice for them if you turn up wearing your old tracksuit. It’s not hard to present yourself well, so why wouldn’t you? 

That brings me to the other kind of grace - that of manners, or graciousness. Many of the women I know and most admire have poise. They are compassionate and kind, but I don’t think they would always hide their true feelings just to make someone else feel comfortable, and I think they are right. If you see people behaving badly, shouldn’t you tell them, rather than let them get away with it?

This in turn has made me wonder – is graciousness really something that I would want to see fully restored? It’s something that women in particular were supposed to cultivate. But was it just another way of keeping them quiet?

Still, I love the idea of being gracious. I think it’s noble to be considerate and thoughtful of others, unless by being so you compromise your own values. I’d like to think you can combine graciousness with speaking out when it really matters.

Kaufman says we can cultivate grace, and I’m determined to work on it. I may never reach the lofty standards of Audrey Hepburn, or Cary Grant, but every bit of polish helps, don’t you think?

Signature look

Lots of women follow fashion, but there are some women who keep up with trends and yet have their own individual style.

I’m sure you know a few – they’re the ones who look just right at every event, whether it’s casual or dressy. And you can recognise them from a distance.

I think the secret is to have a signature piece, or a signature style. If it’s a particular look, it might be something like high-waisted skirts with a narrow belt. A signature piece might range from wearing an unusual type of jewellery, to sporting a hat.

I have a friend who has her own look. She’ll wear clothes of stylish cut, but there is always something unique about her outfits. She will mix prints with stripes, and add distinctive accessories to a corporate look when she is at work. Her thick blonde hair is always styled just enough to suggest movie star glamour, without being try-hard.

I once knew a woman whose trademark was patterned stockings. She had numerous pairs of them, all different designs. It’s a great idea, because you don’t need many clothes to bring a new look to each day.

All the famous fashion icons have their signature trademark. In Roman Holiday, Audrey Hepburn made the 50s look her own by adding a wide belt to the swing skirt. Millions of women adopted that look. Audrey had an uncanny eye for style, and she instinctively knew that the belt outlined her tiny waist, making her gamine look more appealing.

My signature is striking shoes. I love to wear simple, classic clothes with a pair of vividly coloured shoes.

What’s your signature look? 

New Year - Fresh Start

The idea of spring-cleaning has been around a long time, but I always choose to do my big clean just after the New Year. It seems appropriate somehow – it’s good to start a fresh year with less clutter.

My wardrobe is one of the things that gets a major clear-out, and it is no easy task. I have a lot of beautiful clothes and shoes, and I always find it hard to cull them.

I’ve read so many advice columns on the matter, but they don’t help me much. You know that thing they always say? If you haven’t worn it for a year or two, get rid of it! It doesn’t work for me. I adore certain garments in my wardrobe, wear them over and over, then suddenly tire of them and they remain unnoticed for three years, only to become favourites again.

Fashion is cyclical, and so is my love for my clothes. Call it fickle if you like.

Now when I’m cleaning out my wardrobe, I consider five things.

Does it really fit?

You know that jacket you bought, because it’s SO beautiful, and a little bit different? And it fits perfectly at the waist, so never mind that you know it’s too big in the shoulders? And two years later it’s still sitting in your wardrobe, unworn? If you know a good dressmaker, get it altered so that it fits perfectly, or get rid of it! Same with shoes. If they pinch at the toes or give you blisters, even after several wears, throw them out!

Is it too impractical?

I’ve made the mistake of buying pencil skirts that I rarely wore. (They looked good on me, but I like being able to move my legs when I walk, so I’d always choose something else from my wardrobe.) Perhaps you’ve done the same? If possible, get a split put in them or get rid of them. I’ve also bought shoes that looked amazing, but the heels were just too high. It was a painful decision but I got rid of them, because the pain in my back was worse.

Is it looking too worn and daggy?

Have you ever kept a favourite cardigan in your drawer for ages without wearing it, because it’s pilled, and has a hole in the armpit? That’s misguided sentiment. Take a photo of it to remember the good times and move on.

Do I have something else that does the same job?

I kept a cream skirt for a long time, because I love cream. However, I just didn’t wear it because it didn’t quite fit and was impossible to alter. I wore white skirts instead. So I’ve chucked that cream one at last, and now I have space in my wardrobe for that perfect cream skirt when I see it.

Do I feel good in it?

All of us have a dress or outfit that makes us feel like a million dollars. So why do we hold on to all those clothes that don’t make us feel good? That are a bit dowdy, or too tight, or just not our colour? If you’ve never received a compliment from a trusted friend about an outfit, it’s probably not right. I always think you learn more from what people don’t say than from what they do.

This season I threw out a dress that had been taking up space in my wardrobe for five years. I wore it once, even though it fitted me perfectly and looked great. The problem was that it only looked great for two minutes. It was made out of a peculiar fabric that wrinkled horribly when I sat down. It was only good for a cocktail party where it’s standing only, and you get to walk to it, and I’ve never been to one of those. I hate looking as though I’ve slept in my clothes. So, goodbye dress! It was nice knowing you for two minutes.

Next time you’re clearing out your wardrobe, see if these pointers work for you. Keep your most beautiful and suitable things, and be a star in your own clothes this year!

Travelling light with style

How many of you have known the following two scenarios when you are travelling?

1.     Arriving home and feeling foolish because you’ve only worn a third of the clothes in your suitcase.

2.     Being invited out to dinner half way through your trip and going, “Damn! I knew I should have brought that sexy dress!”

And how many times have you read articles in women’s magazines about these dilemmas? Their suggestions are often either impractical or governed by the latest fashion “must have”. Why would you take a pair of platform espadrilles on an overseas holiday? That’s my question. They are perfect for sitting in a hotel lobby with a drink in your hand, but if you want to go on a little sight-seeing jaunt you’d have to change into something else, or risk serious ankle injury.

Packing for a holiday or a business trip is fraught with problems, and only people who travel a lot seem to get it right.

My secret is to bring only clothes that work together, and to make sure that what I wear on the aeroplane is useful for the whole trip.

A wise friend once told me that you should never dress down for a flight. You never know whom you might meet. Also, while they are checking you in, airline staff are checking you out! You are more likely to get an upgrade if you present well.

This rule suits me perfectly, as I loathe looking daggy. I don’t own a tracksuit. I have a pair of yoga pants, but I leave them at home when I’m travelling. I still practise yoga, but my silk pyjamas double up as my hotel room active wear – lighter in my suitcase, and far prettier.

My aeroplane outfit is carefully considered. Black tailored pants, with some stretch in them so they are comfortable. Black cotton T shirt worn under a black, fine wool polo-neck skivvy. I bring a light, down jacket in my hand luggage for when we reach altitude. (You will notice that’s a lot of black. I rarely wear all black, but it’s useful on a plane, in case of spillages, and I can mix all the garments with other colourful pieces later, and roll the pants up if I’m going to a summer climate.) My final addition is a pair of María Perón loafers in navy. No high heels on a long flight for me thank you very much! I want to be able to walk in those precious half hours between flights, and stuffing swollen feet into high heels is not my idea of fun.

So that leaves my suitcase. My first piece of advice is to invest in a good suitcase – preferably one of those really light ones you can lift with one finger before you put anything in it. You will never regret it, I promise you.

In my suitcase I take the following: 1 pair jeans, 1 light jacket (if I’m travelling to a winter climate I take an overcoat on the plane instead), 1 light dress, 1 evening dress, 1 skirt, 1 cardigan (either pink or black), 1 pair shorts (if summer), 1 white shirt, 1 white T shirt, 2 silk blouses (one plain, one print), silk pyjamas, underwear, socks, stockings, 1 hat that doesn’t mind being squashed.

The tricky bit is making sure everything goes with everything else. For example, I make sure that at least one of the blouses can be worn under the black polo-neck. There should be no frills that stick out to look peculiar, so I bring a simple silk blouse, plain or print.

I like the shirt look too, so my other blouse will have a pussy bow tie, or if I’m going to winter I’ll bring a button-up that I can wear with a cardigan and coat.

The dresses I take will also depend a little on the climate I’m going to. I love colour, so I often bring the flower print dress shown below when I’m travelling. It’s a stretch fabric, perfect for packing, and goes with so many colours. It’s versatile too, as I can wear it during the day, but make it work for evening with a sensational pair of shoes. If I’m going to a summer climate, I’m more likely to take something like the sleeveless silk number shown.

Lastly, and most importantly, there is the footwear decision and, mamma mia, have I got that wrong numerous times! I’ve been known to travel with eight pairs of shoes in my luggage – only two of which got worn.

Now I travel with two or three pairs of shoes in my suitcase (well, four, if you count my tango shoes, but that won’t apply to most of you). I take one pair of heels (at the moment I’m favouring Kathy in beige or Megan in pink from the Maria Peron range), 1 pair of day shoes that I can stand in (like the Annika or Alice shoe) plus 1 pair of walking sandals (or boots if I’m going to winter). Don’t forget I’ve also got my loafers.

Between these I have something for sight-seeing, that little trip down to the shops or a café, and something for that night out or special luncheon. Travelling this light means I can either take a small suit-case, or have plenty of space for international travel purchases. How marvellous is that?

 

 

Colour blocking

Many women shy away from colour blocking, but I love it. Like most fashions it does come around from time to time. Women will be daring enough to try it in solidarity, but I’d rather not wait till it comes back into fashion again. Colour blocking tends to be a pretty regular addition to my look. Not every day of course, but at least once every couple of weeks.  

Colour blocking is a method of wearing multiple solid colours in an outfit, and generally refers to when you do it with brighter colours, not standards. (After all, women are colour blocking with black and white all the time!)

You can employ colour blocking by wearing the same colour in several hues, or by deliberately juxtaposing contrasting colours.

I love wearing green with blue, and red or orange with pink. Perhaps it’s the rebel in me. Many women around my age can probably remember their mothers telling them that wearing pink with red is a fashion crime, and blue with green even worse.

I’ve never been able to understand that. After all, who doesn’t love looking up at a cerulean blue sky through the green leaves of a tree? The two colours go perfectly together.

I like wearing just about any shade of green with blue, but I particularly like the effect below. The brightness of the green really stands out against navy blue, and then the yellow shoes are an added contrast. If the skirt was a bright blue, then you might not notice the shoes as much.

But I also think the orange outfit works well. All three colours are strong, but they are quite close in the spectrum, so they complement, rather than fight each other. This look makes me think of a garden of roses. How can you go wrong with that?

Elegance

Now here is a look that you would see me in much more often. I love dresses like this – fitted top and gored skirt. This one is particularly lovely, because the fabric is quite heavy, so it has a great swirl when I walk or turn. There is something very attractive about movement in clothes if they follow your own line.

This look is easy to wear because it goes both with heeled and with flat shoes, but I particularly like it with classic round-toed pumps, like the Megan shown here, or a sensational evening shoe, like the gold Kathy. The first is perfect for a garden party or the races, while the second is more suitable for the theatre or an evening do.

I like to tie the outfit together with a belt to match the shoes, but it would be just as attractive with the shoes as a colour feature by themselves. I remember seeing a French film a long time ago, and in one scene the leading actress wore a black dress, black stockings and black jacket, but she had striking red shoes on. I’ve never forgotten that scene. 

The dramatic entrance

This is a look that’s easy to achieve with the Kathy shoe from the María Perón range. Any kind of clinging dress will do, and this shoe in beige will go with almost any colour and stand up to plain or print.

I love this look equally on a thin or a curvy woman. Both are sexy. It’s also a style that transcends seasons, as you can add a light jacket in spring, or a warm coat in winter.

Best of all, despite the height of the heel (8 cm), you can actually walk and stand comfortably wherever you go, because the heel is so well balanced on the Kathy shoe. This look will take you to a wedding, a party, the races or a red carpet event. 

It will give you that dramatic entrance when you want it, and is equally perfect for a romantic date. The photos were taken at the Princess Theatre (Spring Street, Melbourne), and the café next door to that beautiful Melbourne icon. 

Dare to be different!

A period of long service leave from my day job means that I now have more time for my business, and I’m looking forward to being more active with this blog.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my own personal style. How it’s changed over the years, and how rarely I vary it now. I think most women around my age probably end up with a similar habit.

When I was in my twenties I wore dresses most of the time. Girly dresses, often old-fashioned, sometimes bordering on hippy. In my thirties I had moved into a much more daring phase. I wore fitted pants, short skirts, jackets that shouted “statement”, knee-high, impossibly high-heeled boots.

Now, in my forties, I’ve settled into a style that I think you would call elegant. I wear more tailored dresses, suits, longer skirts and blouses with cardigans, well-cut jackets and coats. The Chanel look.

But I rarely throw clothes out, so I still have pieces I have collected over the years and I’ve started to be more adventurous again.

Believe it or not I’ve been inspired by my shoes. Maria Peron shoes are so striking I just don’t want to be boring anymore. Now, instead of thinking ‘What shoes shall I wear with this?’ I’ve started to think, ‘What shall I wear with these shoes today?’

So over the next few weeks I look forward to sharing a few looks that I’m trying out, as well as demonstrating a number of my more classical outfits.

Here’s one my friend Alice helped me put together. I used to wear this jacket a lot in my late twenties. I wouldn’t have worn it with shorts back then, but I love this clash of military and casual. Join me and be daring!

Fashion torture

Why do women persist in torturing themselves for fashion? History has shown us how destructive some trends can be, but even educated, intelligent women still allow themselves to be ensnared in the fashion net.

Chinese foot binding and corsets so tight that women could scarcely draw a breath are just two examples of ridiculous fashions that thankfully have been discarded. But many women are still very unkind to their feet.

Some women consistently squeeze their feet into shoes a size too small, enduring corns, blisters and painful bunions as a result. Others walk to train stations, suffer at parties and at race days, and even through a day at work, in towering high heels, simply because they entertain an idea that the higher the heel the sexier they look.

Where does this notion come from, and why has it lasted so long? I don’t want to get into complicated sociological arguments, but it’s common knowledge that an idea of beauty is conditioned into us. I wish we women would trust to our own good sense more, and throw out the fashions that are stupid or plain dangerous.

It’s certainly true that higher heels can enhance proportions and make us feel more powerful by adding stature, but why the towers and why the great clumping heels? They only serve to make a woman look ridiculous. Like cows with thin legs and great hooves stuck on the end. Not to mention the back pain, sprained ankles and sometimes even broken legs that often follow.

I used to think that a lot of shoe designers must dislike women, but actually I’ve learned that marketers are more to blame for these fashion transgressions. It was Tamara Mellon, the marketing force behind the Jimmy Choo brand, who was pushing to go higher and higher on the heels of his shoes in the early days of building the brand. Jimmy Choo, the artisan, kept imploring, “No higher! You’re destroying the balance.”

I completely agree with him. When it comes to a woman’s shoe, balance is paramount. I have a general rule about shoes. If you can’t dance in them, or run in them, don’t wear them. 

A dancer's thoughts on heels

I didn’t wear high heels when I was young, probably because I didn’t lead a lifestyle where they were called for. When I was a student I was either cooped up indoors practising the piano and attending ballet and flamenco classes, or I was escaping outdoors for long walks.

It wasn’t until I was in my early thirties that I started wearing high heels at work. Around the same time I began tango dancing, and that made me think a lot about what kind of heels to wear.

Female tango dancers wear much higher heels than flamenco dancers. They are often on their toes and their weight is almost always forward, so high heels actually help tango technique. Good posture is essential to prevent back injuries, and good shoes even more so.

My mother taught me how to walk in high heels when I was a young teenager. She used to give my sister and me deportment lessons, watching us walk across the living room in her high-heeled shoes. ‘Walk forward on your heel,’ she told us, ‘then your walk will be smooth and comfortable. Head up, shoulders down, back straight, arms and hips relaxed.’

I’m grateful to her now, every time I see some unfortunate, clumsy woman tottering onto a stage, or along the street, in high heels she doesn’t know how to manage. I’m even more grateful that my mother taught me to be sensible when it came to choosing shoes. ‘Never, ever compromise on good quality shoes,’ she said. ‘Your feet have to carry you a long time. Your shoes need to support you and be made of good quality leather. The Italians and the Spanish understand this better than anyone else. Never buy shoes that don’t fit and always look at the heel. If it is well balanced, you should be able to stand even on a high heel for long periods. The heel should not be too far back on the shoe. It puts too much strain on the back.’

As a dancer, I’ve learnt how vital that advice was. I’ve always been careful choosing my dancing shoes. Perhaps that’s why I’m one of the few dancers I know who doesn’t have bunions, or other foot problems.

These were the sorts of things I thought about when I designed María Perón shoes. I think women should look after their feet, as well as look beautiful.