It’s said that the eyes are the window to the soul. They can certainly say a lot about a person – or to a person. A long look from a complete stranger can haunt one for years. Lovers stare into each other’s eyes over a dinner table, in almost the same way that a young baby stares fixedly into the eyes of its mother. It’s as though they are trying to unlock every secret.
I’m sure many of you have experienced being in the powder room in a hotel or a restaurant, engaged in the simple act of brushing your hair or touching up your lipstick, and another woman approaches the sink and you catch her eye and you can see her thinking, ‘She looks beautiful.’ It’s such a lovely moment. Sometimes I think those flashes of communication with a stranger have more meaning than the compliments offered you by friends. Because they don’t owe you anything. There is none of the complicated give and take that comes with friendship. It’s simply the frank acknowledgement of another human being they like the look of.
I’ve been thinking about how we look at the way someone is dressed. For me it very often starts with the shoes. If I pass someone wearing distinctive shoes in the street, I can’t help looking at the rest of her outfit and finally her face. Sometimes I’m disappointed, sometimes I’m surprised, sometimes I’m thrilled all through. Shoes can tell you a lot about a person. They might be particularly beautiful shoes, or unusual in some way. I also love to see shoes well cared for.
Sometimes the person I’m examining catches my eye. That’s where you have to be careful. It’s fine to pay someone a compliment with your eyes, it’s not so fine to show disapproval. Instinctively I have a smile ready, in case I’m caught out.
I think we are losing the ability to communicate with others with our eyes. We all lead increasingly busy lives, rushing from one thing to another, barely remembering to communicate with the person serving us in a shop, let alone with strangers on the street. And most of us have had experiences when people have been unreasonably upset because we looked at them. People who are ill, depressed or angry will often misinterpret a glance. But they are in a minority. We shouldn’t let them put us off.
I love to see the way children look at people. Most of us will hurry past a busker, but a child will often stop and study him with intense curiosity, or bob clumsily along to his music. And the busker will smile at the child, and double his efforts. It’s a beautiful thing, that moment of acknowledgement.
Let’s not lose the art of communicating with our eyes, especially to compliment. After all, a few glances of acknowledgment and approval every week can’t hurt us. We won’t miss them, and they might make someone’s day.
