The Art of Grace

I have just finished reading a book called The Art of Grace, by Sarah L. Kaufman, critic and senior arts writer of the Washington Post.

Kaufman speaks of two kinds of grace – the grace of movement, or poise, and grace of manner, which we generally know as graciousness. She says that the art of grace has been important to us for a thousand years, being a quality valued by the ancient Greeks. Writing in sixteenth-century Florence, the poet and archbishop Giovanni Della Casa equated grace with fine craftsmanship. In the 1930s it was a habitual practice that enhanced the whole person.

Kaufman talks a lot about the actor Cary Grant being the epitome of grace. Grant was known for his ease of movement (no doubt due to his early training as an acrobat and stage performer). He was also famous for his kindness in putting other less celebrated people at their ease in unfamiliar situations.

Kaufman laments that grace is a quality that is now virtually lost. These days there is much more emphasis on putting ourselves first, on fulfilling our own dreams, rather than being considerate of other people.

The book has made me ponder this mystery of grace, and I’ve been going through all the people I know in my head, trying to decide whether they have grace. It’s true that it’s relatively rare to find both grace of movement and grace of manner in one person. They generally tend to have one or the other.

I think the way we look is of paramount importance. If you’re meeting another person, it’s not very nice for them if you turn up wearing your old tracksuit. It’s not hard to present yourself well, so why wouldn’t you? 

That brings me to the other kind of grace - that of manners, or graciousness. Many of the women I know and most admire have poise. They are compassionate and kind, but I don’t think they would always hide their true feelings just to make someone else feel comfortable, and I think they are right. If you see people behaving badly, shouldn’t you tell them, rather than let them get away with it?

This in turn has made me wonder – is graciousness really something that I would want to see fully restored? It’s something that women in particular were supposed to cultivate. But was it just another way of keeping them quiet?

Still, I love the idea of being gracious. I think it’s noble to be considerate and thoughtful of others, unless by being so you compromise your own values. I’d like to think you can combine graciousness with speaking out when it really matters.

Kaufman says we can cultivate grace, and I’m determined to work on it. I may never reach the lofty standards of Audrey Hepburn, or Cary Grant, but every bit of polish helps, don’t you think?

Signature look

Lots of women follow fashion, but there are some women who keep up with trends and yet have their own individual style.

I’m sure you know a few – they’re the ones who look just right at every event, whether it’s casual or dressy. And you can recognise them from a distance.

I think the secret is to have a signature piece, or a signature style. If it’s a particular look, it might be something like high-waisted skirts with a narrow belt. A signature piece might range from wearing an unusual type of jewellery, to sporting a hat.

I have a friend who has her own look. She’ll wear clothes of stylish cut, but there is always something unique about her outfits. She will mix prints with stripes, and add distinctive accessories to a corporate look when she is at work. Her thick blonde hair is always styled just enough to suggest movie star glamour, without being try-hard.

I once knew a woman whose trademark was patterned stockings. She had numerous pairs of them, all different designs. It’s a great idea, because you don’t need many clothes to bring a new look to each day.

All the famous fashion icons have their signature trademark. In Roman Holiday, Audrey Hepburn made the 50s look her own by adding a wide belt to the swing skirt. Millions of women adopted that look. Audrey had an uncanny eye for style, and she instinctively knew that the belt outlined her tiny waist, making her gamine look more appealing.

My signature is striking shoes. I love to wear simple, classic clothes with a pair of vividly coloured shoes.

What’s your signature look? 

Dressing for summer that isn't a summer

Some climates are really hard to dress for, and there can’t be many places in the world more challenging for your wardrobe choice than Melbourne in summer.

Our wonderful city is famous for its “three seasons in a day”. You can go out in the morning in a summer dress because the sun is shining, but by afternoon clouds will have come from nowhere, the temperature has plummeted and it’s cold. This is particularly noticeable in the city, where the tall buildings create wind tunnels, and the breeze cuts through clothing like a scimitar.  

If you’re like me, you’re no longer happy to suffer for fashion, so what can you wear that is going to cover all bases? Well, everyone knows about layering, but to make sure I’m never too hot or too cold, I think more carefully about fabric.

Normally, silk is my favourite material, but on a very warm day silk will encourage you to perspire freely, and it shows (eek!) so in summer I turn to cotton dresses like the ones pictured below.

Cotton definitely won’t stand up to a Melbourne evening, so if I’m going out I’ll take a light jacket or blazer. My favourite is a russet brown coat, which is actually a raincoat as well, so very useful for those sudden showers. It folds up quite small, so I can put it in a bag. But even this won’t always be enough, so my secret addition is a cashmere cardigan. Cashmere is so warm, and it’s light. You can stuff a cardigan in your handbag and pull it out only when necessary. It’s also very useful for those restaurants or theatres with over-enthusiastic air-conditioning.

The other important consideration is shoes. I generally prefer open-toed shoes in summer, like the Karen sandal, or the Annika shoe. Both of these styles will also stand up to a sudden weather change, or a shower. But if there is no chance of rain, I love to wear the Megan in pink or yellow. There is nothing like a splash of colour to make any day feel like a holiday. Bring on summer! 

Travelling light with style

How many of you have known the following two scenarios when you are travelling?

1.     Arriving home and feeling foolish because you’ve only worn a third of the clothes in your suitcase.

2.     Being invited out to dinner half way through your trip and going, “Damn! I knew I should have brought that sexy dress!”

And how many times have you read articles in women’s magazines about these dilemmas? Their suggestions are often either impractical or governed by the latest fashion “must have”. Why would you take a pair of platform espadrilles on an overseas holiday? That’s my question. They are perfect for sitting in a hotel lobby with a drink in your hand, but if you want to go on a little sight-seeing jaunt you’d have to change into something else, or risk serious ankle injury.

Packing for a holiday or a business trip is fraught with problems, and only people who travel a lot seem to get it right.

My secret is to bring only clothes that work together, and to make sure that what I wear on the aeroplane is useful for the whole trip.

A wise friend once told me that you should never dress down for a flight. You never know whom you might meet. Also, while they are checking you in, airline staff are checking you out! You are more likely to get an upgrade if you present well.

This rule suits me perfectly, as I loathe looking daggy. I don’t own a tracksuit. I have a pair of yoga pants, but I leave them at home when I’m travelling. I still practise yoga, but my silk pyjamas double up as my hotel room active wear – lighter in my suitcase, and far prettier.

My aeroplane outfit is carefully considered. Black tailored pants, with some stretch in them so they are comfortable. Black cotton T shirt worn under a black, fine wool polo-neck skivvy. I bring a light, down jacket in my hand luggage for when we reach altitude. (You will notice that’s a lot of black. I rarely wear all black, but it’s useful on a plane, in case of spillages, and I can mix all the garments with other colourful pieces later, and roll the pants up if I’m going to a summer climate.) My final addition is a pair of María Perón loafers in navy. No high heels on a long flight for me thank you very much! I want to be able to walk in those precious half hours between flights, and stuffing swollen feet into high heels is not my idea of fun.

So that leaves my suitcase. My first piece of advice is to invest in a good suitcase – preferably one of those really light ones you can lift with one finger before you put anything in it. You will never regret it, I promise you.

In my suitcase I take the following: 1 pair jeans, 1 light jacket (if I’m travelling to a winter climate I take an overcoat on the plane instead), 1 light dress, 1 evening dress, 1 skirt, 1 cardigan (either pink or black), 1 pair shorts (if summer), 1 white shirt, 1 white T shirt, 2 silk blouses (one plain, one print), silk pyjamas, underwear, socks, stockings, 1 hat that doesn’t mind being squashed.

The tricky bit is making sure everything goes with everything else. For example, I make sure that at least one of the blouses can be worn under the black polo-neck. There should be no frills that stick out to look peculiar, so I bring a simple silk blouse, plain or print.

I like the shirt look too, so my other blouse will have a pussy bow tie, or if I’m going to winter I’ll bring a button-up that I can wear with a cardigan and coat.

The dresses I take will also depend a little on the climate I’m going to. I love colour, so I often bring the flower print dress shown below when I’m travelling. It’s a stretch fabric, perfect for packing, and goes with so many colours. It’s versatile too, as I can wear it during the day, but make it work for evening with a sensational pair of shoes. If I’m going to a summer climate, I’m more likely to take something like the sleeveless silk number shown.

Lastly, and most importantly, there is the footwear decision and, mamma mia, have I got that wrong numerous times! I’ve been known to travel with eight pairs of shoes in my luggage – only two of which got worn.

Now I travel with two or three pairs of shoes in my suitcase (well, four, if you count my tango shoes, but that won’t apply to most of you). I take one pair of heels (at the moment I’m favouring Kathy in beige or Megan in pink from the Maria Peron range), 1 pair of day shoes that I can stand in (like the Annika or Alice shoe) plus 1 pair of walking sandals (or boots if I’m going to winter). Don’t forget I’ve also got my loafers.

Between these I have something for sight-seeing, that little trip down to the shops or a café, and something for that night out or special luncheon. Travelling this light means I can either take a small suit-case, or have plenty of space for international travel purchases. How marvellous is that?

Dare to be different!

A period of long service leave from my day job means that I now have more time for my business, and I’m looking forward to being more active with this blog.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my own personal style. How it’s changed over the years, and how rarely I vary it now. I think most women around my age probably end up with a similar habit.

When I was in my twenties I wore dresses most of the time. Girly dresses, often old-fashioned, sometimes bordering on hippy. In my thirties I had moved into a much more daring phase. I wore fitted pants, short skirts, jackets that shouted “statement”, knee-high, impossibly high-heeled boots.

Now, in my forties, I’ve settled into a style that I think you would call elegant. I wear more tailored dresses, suits, longer skirts and blouses with cardigans, well-cut jackets and coats. The Chanel look.

But I rarely throw clothes out, so I still have pieces I have collected over the years and I’ve started to be more adventurous again.

Believe it or not I’ve been inspired by my shoes. Maria Peron shoes are so striking I just don’t want to be boring anymore. Now, instead of thinking ‘What shoes shall I wear with this?’ I’ve started to think, ‘What shall I wear with these shoes today?’

So over the next few weeks I look forward to sharing a few looks that I’m trying out, as well as demonstrating a number of my more classical outfits.

Here’s one my friend Alice helped me put together. I used to wear this jacket a lot in my late twenties. I wouldn’t have worn it with shorts back then, but I love this clash of military and casual. Join me and be daring!

A dancer's thoughts on heels

I didn’t wear high heels when I was young, probably because I didn’t lead a lifestyle where they were called for. When I was a student I was either cooped up indoors practising the piano and attending ballet and flamenco classes, or I was escaping outdoors for long walks.

It wasn’t until I was in my early thirties that I started wearing high heels at work. Around the same time I began tango dancing, and that made me think a lot about what kind of heels to wear.

Female tango dancers wear much higher heels than flamenco dancers. They are often on their toes and their weight is almost always forward, so high heels actually help tango technique. Good posture is essential to prevent back injuries, and good shoes even more so.

My mother taught me how to walk in high heels when I was a young teenager. She used to give my sister and me deportment lessons, watching us walk across the living room in her high-heeled shoes. ‘Walk forward on your heel,’ she told us, ‘then your walk will be smooth and comfortable. Head up, shoulders down, back straight, arms and hips relaxed.’

I’m grateful to her now, every time I see some unfortunate, clumsy woman tottering onto a stage, or along the street, in high heels she doesn’t know how to manage. I’m even more grateful that my mother taught me to be sensible when it came to choosing shoes. ‘Never, ever compromise on good quality shoes,’ she said. ‘Your feet have to carry you a long time. Your shoes need to support you and be made of good quality leather. The Italians and the Spanish understand this better than anyone else. Never buy shoes that don’t fit and always look at the heel. If it is well balanced, you should be able to stand even on a high heel for long periods. The heel should not be too far back on the shoe. It puts too much strain on the back.’

As a dancer, I’ve learnt how vital that advice was. I’ve always been careful choosing my dancing shoes. Perhaps that’s why I’m one of the few dancers I know who doesn’t have bunions, or other foot problems.

These were the sorts of things I thought about when I designed María Perón shoes. I think women should look after their feet, as well as look beautiful.